Texans Sid Miller and Jonathan Saenz. (2024)

by Susan Bankston

A former member of the Texas Legislature and current Republican nominee for Texas agriculture commissioner, Sid Miller, has himself some powerful strong feelings.By his own admission, he does not have much knowledge, but, boy howdy!, his cowboy feelings run deep. He wants to organize a posse to play Cowboys and Mexicans.

Sid doesn’t like what’s happening on the border between Texas and Mexico. He doesn’t live there, of course. He lives in Erath County, whose motto is “Well, hell, we never heard of you either.” Sid Miller lives closer to Tulsa, Oklahoma, than he does to Laredo, closer to Roswell, New Mexico, than Brownsville, and a helluva lot closer to Wichita, Kansas, than El Paso.In short, he’s closer to foreign states than he is to the Texas border.

Lawmakers who actually live on the border aren’t worried about the refugee children and families coming to America. But darlin’, Mr. Middle-of-Nowhere Sid Miller is so shaky-worried that he can thread a sewing machine while it’s running. Bless his heart, he issued a statement saying, “I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know what the legal definition of ‘invasion’ is…but in this cowboy’s definition, we’re being invaded.”

As one of my state-representative friends once told me, “Ol’ Sid would have to study up to be an imbecile.”

Lucky for us, Sid has an idea to solve this refugee invasion problem.

He declared, “We should invoke Article 1, Section 10 of the United States Constitution. The last sentence of Article 1, Section 10 of the Constitution says that if a state is invaded or attacked, the federal government’s right to secure the border reverts to the states to take matters into their own hands.”

Now I want you to ponder for a minute—exactly which “matters” you would be willing to put in Sid Miller’s crazy-ass hands? Hell, this is a man who can’t operate a damn dictionary.

I have to tell you something else pretty disgusting about Sid Miller. He’s a cruel sumbitch in ways you have not ever dreamed possible.

“Miller, a rancher, received a warning from the American Quarter Horse Association last year for tethering three of his horses to the back of a trailer and exercising them by driving slowly in circles, a practice many consider dangerous,” the Dallas Morning News reported in December. Yes, I believe that is about as safe as skating on warm ice. Some people disagree. However, they couldn’t be reached for comment, because they were at a damn co*ckfight.


Miller offered bills in the state legislature in 2003 and 2007 that would have allowed the sale of horsemeat for consumption in foreign countries.

And Sid wants to go control the border? Seriously?

Hell, at least Mitt Romney just put his dog Seamus on the roof of the car. He didn’t eat him afterward.

Ol’ Sid spends most his days just grinning from his butt to his eyebrows and kissing babies, because he wants to be your next agriculture commissioner.

Go register to vote, ya hear?It’s important. And not just to horses.

Of course I’m right. You know I’m right. I’m like a truth machine.

Sautéing a cup of rightwing hate is the perfect recipe for unpleasantness.

The next Republican we have making news is Jonathan Saenz.He’s head of the antigay group Texas Values.He is especially vocal about the myth that hom*osexuals would prey upon women and children in bathrooms if we pass nondiscrimination laws.

He’s big on gay conversion therapy and is desperately trying to convince people that gays want to put Christians in concentration camps.Seriously. Concentration camps.Well, hell’s bells, they would be the best-decorated concentration camps you’ve ever seen.

That’s fine—Saenz has the right of free hate speech. I do not, however, think being virulently antigay is the least bit entertaining.

This, however, is…

Jonathan Saenz’s wife left him for another woman.Their divorce details are public record in the Hays County 274th Judicial District Court.

The divorce has gotten meaner than a hurricane with two eyes, with claims and counterclaims of mental instability.I don’t think I need to say who gets my vote of confidence.

They are also fighting over who gets the kids.Well, I, for one, do not believe it ought to be the guy going to the Christian concentration camp.

Susan Bankston lives in Richmond, Texas, where she writes about her hairdresser at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., at juanitajean.com.

FB Comments

Texans Sid Miller and Jonathan Saenz. (2024)


Why did Texans revolt against Mexican rule? ›

Mexico had officially abolished slavery in Texas in 1829, and the desire of Anglo Texans to maintain the institution of chattel slavery in Texas was also a major cause of secession. Colonists and Tejanos disagreed on whether the ultimate goal was independence or a return to the Mexican Constitution of 1824.

Why were Texas unhappy with Mexican rule? ›

Texas became a breeding ground for distrust and differences between the US and Mexico. In an attempt to enforce control, the Mexican government tried to force the end of slavery in the region, impose taxes, and end immigration from the United States.

Why were Texans upset with the Mexican government in 1830? ›

Under the new law, Texans had to pay customs duties on imports as well. The Mexican government sent additional troops to Texas to enforce the Law of April 6, 1830. One source of conflict between Texans and the Mexican government was customs duties.

What was one reason for the Texan rebellion against Mexican rule? ›

the Anglo-Texans wanted to break away from a government that had grown too authoritarian. One reason for the Anglo-Texan rebellion against Mexican rule was the desire to establish an independent government that better represented the interests of the Anglo-Texan settlers.

What were the reasons American settlers in Texas revolted against Mexican rule? ›

Settlers also resented that at most two Texas representatives were allowed in the state legislature. Their greatest source of discontent, though, was the Mexican government's 1829 abolition of slavery. Most American settlers were from southern states, and many had brought slaves with them.

Why did Texans revolt against the Mexican government thesis statement? ›

Thesis Statement: The Texans revolted against the Mexican government due to the fact that they were forced to follow a tyrant, they didn't have freedom, and they were treated cruelly by the government. Round 2 Now, read Documents C, D, and E, and then answer the questions below.

Why did Texas fight in the Mexican-American War? ›

The immediate cause of the Mexican-American War was a disputed boundary between the United States and Texas on the Nueces Strip. Mexico did not recognize Texas as legitimate American territory and Texas admission to the United States antagonized Mexican officials and citizens.


Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Rob Wisoky

Last Updated:

Views: 6426

Rating: 4.8 / 5 (48 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Rob Wisoky

Birthday: 1994-09-30

Address: 5789 Michel Vista, West Domenic, OR 80464-9452

Phone: +97313824072371

Job: Education Orchestrator

Hobby: Lockpicking, Crocheting, Baton twirling, Video gaming, Jogging, Whittling, Model building

Introduction: My name is Rob Wisoky, I am a smiling, helpful, encouraging, zealous, energetic, faithful, fantastic person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.